Crystal's boarding in Belgium

New blog to replace this .http://crystalwongaiesec.spaces.live.com/

Affirmation
Savage Garden

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold

I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

Pure

Can't understand
what I have seen
I can't recall
where I have been
Can't find the words
I wish to say,
I can't be near
can't get away
I cannot do
the things I should,
I wish I could

I can't say where,
I can't say when,
I can't promise now
to be your friend
can't be the one
that you adore,
I don't know what I'm livin' for
The reason why
I feel so blue
is just because
I'm missing you

I can't slow down,
I can't be fast,
don't know how long
it's gonna last,
I don't know why
my life has changed,
can't get the pieces
rearranged
The only thing
I know for sure
your love was pure

I cannot lose,
I cannot win,
can't end things up
that I begin,
I won't be better
than anyone,
I don't know where I'm comin' from
The reason why
I feel so blue
is just because
I'm missing you

I can't be strong
when I get lost,
I can't believe,
I cannot trust
and all the pain
I won't endure,
I can't be rich,
I can't be poor
I won't get used
to be sincere
wish you where here

I can't devote,
I can't get too deep,
can't struggle hard,
can't stand defeat
I cannot mend
what I mixed up
I cannot hold what I have got
The only thing
I know for sure
your love was pure

When I know the days in my hand r less and less. I just don't want to waste any second to fulfill everything. God, plz give me more time...

If you know at the first beginning it is wrong, but you could not help revise the direction of your heart is going, what should you do?

My friend told me something about Budda jumps over the wall. I think it's funny.

When it comes to the point, you will find everything is different from what you expected.

Or there is nothing really existing for the ideal image inside your heart. Another friend said she would not compromise.

What should I do ? What should I do?

Give up...

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There´s no room
No space to rent in this town

You´re out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you´re not moving anywhere

You thought you´d found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It´s a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It´s a beautiful day
Don´t let it get away

You´re on the road
But you´ve got no destination
You´re in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn´t ring true
You´ve been all over
And it´s been all over you

It´s a beautiful day
Don´t let it get away
It´s a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I´m not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don´t let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I´m not a hopeless case

What you don´t have you don´t need it now
What you don´t know you can feel it somehow
What you don´t have you don´t need it now
Don´t need it now
Was a beautiful day

This blog was written on the way back to New Delhi. The past 12 days feels like a dream, which flows away without consciousness.

I could not tell the exact feeling right now. Does this conference worth my waiting for a whole 12-month or not? I suddenly could not offer the answer. Because during the whole conference, I just could not help thinking up every single moment in last IC 2004 in Germany. This term, I should have felt much happier. Compared to last years the hard adjustment to Chris’s new leadership, this year we experienced a strong and fierce team storming. At that time, I questioned why did I come to IC 2005? And all my team-mates began feeling sick one by one, Mindy, JacSo, Mandy, Gary, Andi…I simply lost the passion suddenly. Each session, I just tried my best to keep myself awake and learnt very very litte, at least too far away from my expectation. I kept on wondering this year where the inspiration from Sophia, the HK Delegate in2004, Flic, etc. is. What I got most inspired most is Chan Alvin, I simply saw the one-year-ago me in him, who I miss so much and want to be so much. But is this fact ridiculous?

I’m still searching to all the answers to the questions aroused before.

But still something makes the difference this year and lets me grow up.
1. Networking. This year, I could hold a more stable mood when talking to others instead of the aggressive and acute tune which I saw in Chan Alvin repeatedly. J And this time I could have real conversation with guys from other GNs, which gives me more profound insight into this world. Also this year the best friend I identified in IC is Chico, a very very sweat gal working now in UAE. She was with me at the last moment of the closing plenary, with the sad music, at the only moment I feel most precious in this IC.

2. PDU. Know the feel of my being in my PDU team? Home. A bunch of people who share the same personality, the same kind of laugh, the same kind of mind-set, the same of expression of passion. I really enjoy the single moment spent with every one of them, Gabiza, Irne, Patrol, Tobi…I just wonder how lucky I am to get into this fantastic family. I suddenly find my great passion for Talent Development again after the 3-month sleeping of my true soul. I was born for that. And I simply make the decision to treat AI VP PD as the biggest goals I want to achieve in the next year. Too ambitious? I don’t know. Truly, I’m not qualified enough right now, but I have the faith to realize it.

3. Finance. The learning is not that intensive as I expected. And what surprises me most is that I find myself positioning much higher than I thought. But I also realize that, only a good mind-set and fantastic ideas plus systematic planning is just just just basic. What needs most? Action!!! I suddenly feel the huge things on my shoulders. Yes. I will make it in this year. I don’t want to feel myself daydreaming when listening to AIESEC in Germany. History never happens if nobody dares to dream.

4. Team-building. I don’t know. Simply my team is at the stage of storming. I just feel how huge the responsibility is for a team leader.

5. Dances!!! Year, dance!!! What interests me most of this AI team is their dance. Fantastic. Also many other dances I enjoy the most during the conference. And I want to show my deepest thanks to Il yu, who always teaches me a lot.

I suddenly find my motivation in this IC is from my motivation for others. When I elaborated to others about my passion and ambition for AIESEC, it’s already the best way to motivate myself. No matter what, I won’t give up.

Anyway, in this bus full of people who have already consumed all their energy, I suddenly miss the moment of Official Dinner when the fire works in the sky looks like falling upon me. The best moment of IC05. That moment, I was thinking I was in the dream, such a nice night, with the nice people around us, with the music around us. I felt the overwhelming romantic strike into my heart, when still there were a lot of people busy with talking some very irrelevant topics. I just wondered how I could treasure this moment more and more. But fire works last only 2 seconds, 20 seconds, 2 minutes. I should know very very clearly that what finally will last until the end of the time with me. Being dazzled? Or being daggled?

When I wrote down my working plan after IC back into HK, I suddenly found that this moment of freedom is that valuable. Anyway, this is the challenge I was and am always looking for, no matter what, I won’t give up.

Next year, UBS award and AI!!!

Let's hope!

This month is strange.

Many things happen in family. But it actually means nothing to me. Too complicated. It seems that it brings an end of a time.

I’ve already officially finished my Extension Manager with Pierre Fitter in Guangzhou. He is really sweet and kind. And I feel so secured to transit my work to him. For Guangzhou members, I like them a lot. We enjoy lots of fun in KTV and also Morning Tea. So happy to witness the birth and growth of @ in my hometown. And I’m proud to be called Mother of @ GZ!!!:P

And Finance work begins squeezing me into pieces. I find everyday the angle of learning curve is almost acute. I begin being fascinated with this job. Everything is so professional and posing challenge of my carelessness. I appreciate this work so much, suddenly.

Although, for myself, the level of strategic thinking is weakening and also the People Development planning is fading in my brain. I feel pathetic. I would pick up all of my beloved stuff before and on the way to IC for sure. I really need build up all. I’m a greedy gal.

Also, I suddenly got a job in PCCW, very HR job, training and development. Actually I found it very lovely and pleasing, esp the people there, Queena, Monica, etc.. I feel liking playing interest all the time when working. But I keep on thinking whethre HR really serves me as a profession or an interest. I need something real and real. I become more and more unsecured about myself and my future.

But the teamwork gets better in my mind, I met Anika and Vladi, both amazing individuals. I suddenly remind what @ attract me most. And right now, I find my hot blood again. Also feel so grateful to Gary, Mandy, Mindy, Ricky, JacSo, when they cared me so much when I was ill. What a team. What a team. What a team. I will try my best to rock this team, never regret!!!

And also that night, I suddenly waked up on the bed and could not fall asleep for just being too excited about every details in last IC. And I begin hoping that IC 2005 could bring me the final answer to my 25-year-old career path. I suddenly feel very very harsh about myself. But still many things worth celebration, such as Il yu’s dancing, Pipo’s drinking, etc. So happy. IC, waiting for it for a whole year.

I begin feel very detached with all my past lives. Is it good or not? When we spent a very wonderful time at Mandy’s home, which was really warming and warming, I had a talk with Anika about the Movie I like most. I could not stop mentioning English Patient, but when she told me her favourite, I find myself too stubborn to fall in love with any other fantastic movie. I just remember the first one I love, then I love it forever. Even I don’t evaluate on rational analysis. Maybe I’m essentially a very emotional person.

Tonight i'm also very happy that I get some breakthrough with Andi, and also very happy to hear that Gary is going to run for AI. This man deservers it. :P

IC, what will happen? Will it change my life experience like last year? Will it answer all my questions to my life? Will it bring any surprise like gift by God? I don’t know. That’s the most exiting part, maybe. Gary said I should not strive for something just with Title or I don't like. He's always essentially smart...But exactly, what shall I expect? Don't know.

I could not wait breathing the sunset of Agra. Get a fever in my head again.

Rock IC~